1 week to go. That’s what my pregnancy countdown app said this morning when I clicked on it.  Crazy much? I sure think so! This could, in fact, be the last pregnancy journal entry I make … ever! Now that’s a whole different conversation, though! ;)

I have to be honest here about a few things. A few things that maybe I shouldn’t be scared of, but nonetheless I am: I find myself feeling scared of labouring this child.  None of my previous labours and deliveries were textbook, and both had their share of complications but in the end everything turned out okay – so why am I so worried?? Well, for starters anyone knowing from day one that they want to avoid having an epidural will probably understand my fears a little better than those who have the ‘I’ll take whatever it is that will get me through this pain’ mentality.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that; it’s just that my birth plans have yet to include those exact sentiments.  It’s not just that I feel an epidural is unnatural and can lead to complications, it’s that I know it can. In fact I have lived through it personally, so I have all the reason in the world not to have one again.

If you don’t remember, I literally begged for an epidural after my waters were prematurely ruptured during my labour induction with baby #2.  I was in so much pain I literally dropped to the floor, hugged my birthing ball and begged the nurse to get the IV started so I could have the epidural. Keep in mind, this was ooooh let’s say 10 minutes after I insisted I didn’t want any pain medication and appreciated if none of the hospital staff present it as an option to me. Ha! Anyways, that epidural left nasty side effects that I am still dealing with, 2 years later. One of those complications includes permanent nerve damage. So let’s just say I’m not so much a fan.  And that’s putting it lightly.

So with the option of an epidural being taken off the table, that leaves me with natural pain relieving techniques (which I love and believe in) but I suppose having my “safety net” taken away from me leaves me in a bit of a panic-stricken state. I have to keep reminding myself that I didn’t need an epidural with my first baby, and I’m really trying to hold those memories in my mind because let’s face it: once you give birth once (or twice, three times, whatever), you know what it feels like. Sometimes the feelings seem … well, unbearable (i.e. during transition) but you still have to push through it. That’s the part where I will need some really good moral support from the hubster – whom, by the way is the best birthing coach ever! Seriously. He could do it for a living he’s that awesome.

So there you have it; I’m a scaredy-cat. So I dedicate this post to my fear of birthing another human being for the 3rd time.  I hope that in writing these fears down I am getting them out of my head and won’t have to deal with them anymore.

I am a woman, after all and my body was created to give birth.  Birthing is a natural process and not something to be feared.  Birthing is a natural process and not something to be feared. Birthing is a natural process and not something to be feared. Birthing is a natural process and not something to be feared. Birthing is a natural process and not something to be feared….

Did you opt for an epidural or not? Would you make the same choice again, given all you went through? 

10 Responses to “Pregnancy Journal: 39 Weeks Pregnant with our 3rd Baby!”

  • No epidural here for either of my births – not because I wanted so show I was some kind of superwoman as some have implied, but because I am terrified of needles. And although birth is painful, take it one contraction at a time, and you CAN do it!

  • Karen:

    I did not plan on an epidural – but I went into labour with my first child with a fairly open mind. The only thing I didn’t want was Morphine, and even that ended up happening. I tried to trust that the advice that my nurses and doctors were giving me were both in mine and the baby’s best interest.

    Any time they gave me pain medication, it was not because I was in too much pain but because of some other issue that the pain medication would help with. Morphine to slow my daughters heart rate down (she was up in the 180’s) and then ultimately an epidural because I was so exhausted and tense that she could not drop.

    Looking back on it I probably could have either skipped or prolonged the time before I got the epidural by asking to do some walking but it was about 2am at this point and I was exhausted. Ultimately I am glad I got the epidural as we came dangerously close to needing an emergency c-section and if I hadn’t had the epidural in place that would have meant general anesthetic and not being able to hold my daughter right away.

    • Jenn:

      That’s so similar to my first baby’s delivery. I was given a spinal epidural during the pushing phase for a similar reason (his heart rate dropped and wasn’t coming back up). I’m so glad it worked out perfectly for all of us!

  • I had the epiddural with all 3. Positive experience the first two times, negative the 3rd . Wishing you lots of luck with what ever happens a safe and speedy delivery =)

  • Kay:

    Don’t be worried, stress can actually will stop your body from starting labour, or make it progress slower.

    For what happens in labour we don’t always get a choice, that just how it happens. For my second son I was sure I would get an epidural, I just hate pain. However, my labour was only 5 hours, and by the time I was in the hospital all set up in my room, I said “ok I want the epidural now!” My midwife checked and said I was fully dialated, she needed to break my water and then I could just push (which I also felt like I needed to do). So it was like torture for 15 min, but then I had my beautiful little boy, and a couple hours later I was ready to go home. =)

    • Jenn:

      That’s awesome Kay! I went into labour just after publishing this post and I did it drug-free and in only 1.5 hours! lol :)

  • Kay:

    Oh and I was afraid too. I even went six days over until I read something that said I needed to spend time feeling loved, and cared for, not worrying about anything to help me relax. It worked. =)

    • Jenn:

      6 days? Okay, that would have stressed me out a little ;) My first was just 3 days late and I was so anxious it was terrible :(

Welcome to my blog! I'm a teacher/mom of 3 with a slight obsession with all things natural/eco-friendly! Please connect with me over at TeachersPayTeachers if you haven't already! I look forward to chatting with you!

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